Err in the Direction of Kindness

The phrase, "Err in the direction of kindness," went viral the summer of 2013 with the convocation speech of George Saunders at Syracuse University. Here's the New York Times article where I first read the speech; I encourage you to read it. (Actually, I guess I'm not just encouraging you to read it, I'm asking you to read it. )

I'm sure you don't really wonder all that much why the phrase graces the wall of my classroom in so many different areas; perhaps you have also considered the depth of which I support this phrase and how sometimes that phrase challenges even the most gentle and compassionate people.

Dustin Hoffman, when he played, "Tootsie," in the movie of the same name, had a quite profound experience when he tried, briefly, to have the real-life experience of a woman looking like Tootsie. I encourage (actually not only encourage....)  you to watch the clip to see his reaction. "...I think I am an interesting woman .... and I know that if I met myself at a party then I would never talk to that character because she doesn't fulfill physically the the demands that we are brought up to think women have to have in order to ask them out ... There's too many interesting women I have ... not had the experience to know in this life because I have been brainwashed ...  That (movie) was never a comedy for me."

Boy Scouts have many, many fine attributes, one of which is re-evaluating its policies. I'm so impressed that, after years of being   unwelcoming towards atheists and members of the LGBTQ community, the BSA has decided to welcome people to their organization regardless of their sexual expression or orientation.  But prior to this recent announcement, I found myself honoring the program and the great activities and lessons that boys learn, but yet being intolerant of their exclusion and social phobia of LGBTQ people. I'm uncomfortable with that intolerance yet wrestle with the hypocrisy of being intolerant of intolerance.  One year, I had a student invite me to his Eagle Scout ceremony.  His mothers (yes, plural; he came from a family with two moms and no dad) are friends of mine.  I called them up,  not knowing how to start the conversation.  "Um," I started, "I...ah... don't quite know what to say, but I'm wondering how you all can, you know,...." at which point one of the moms started laughing.  She said, "I know exactly what you are going to say.  Let me tell you that I am so accepting that I accept them for who they are even if they can't accept me." She schooled me on being kind and loving.

But let me be clear. I will honor and value each person, even if his/her opinions are radically different from mine. However, in my classroom, I will not allow anyone to take away the freedom, self esteem, strength and beauty of anyone else. I will not be unwelcoming to anyone and ask the same of you.  I will do all I can to teach and model tolerance and kindness. You are allowed to believe what you want to believe, but you are to be kind to everyone, recognizing that each person has something to offer, and understanding that each person is worthy of affection.

This year, and in all your endeavors for your whole life, please be kind. I found it especially revealing and telling and insightful that an older person -- George Saunders -- would identify his biggest regret as not being kind enough to a little girl while he was in elementary school.

Your blog assignment: 1. Read the transcript of the speech.  2. Watch Dustin Hoffman.  3. Then comment on what moves you about the messages I'm trying the share with you.   When you first set up your blog, use whatever works best for you (TUMBLR, blogspot.....)  You are more savvy than I, but I will do my best to answer questions you may have.  More likely, I will refer your questions back to your classmates. Be sure you write 150 or so words; make your words meaningful and insightful. Most of all, enjoy reading my post and writing your own.